Who Am I Really?

Remember when you were young and full of life, hope, dreams and
excitement about growing up. You had your own ideas of what life was
going to be like for you! You saw possibility in everything and
everywhere, you were even willing to "go for it" without a care in the
world what others thought or what the outcome would be.
I see children today going to kindergarten for the first time with
this "I AM" sense of themselves. They are ready to let the world know
who they are and where they are going for now anyway. They have
sprouted from a world of imagination that has taken them to places their
mind tells them they can achieve even if they don't realize the road ahead.
They see endless possibilities in their little future. They go to
school ready to make friends and conquer the world one little class room
at a time. Good to go for a year or two then they begin to advance in
society growing with the world and others telling them things like "you
can't be _____ whatever their little mind told them they could and
perhaps even their parents telling them they can. They began by
dreaming big. Maybe mom or dad told them they were beautiful or handsome
and they were full of joy thinking that is what everyone else would
think too.

By the third and fourth grade their world begins to see obstacles,
others they know begin to tell them they may never be what they dreamed
they would or tell the little girl that she is not pretty or the little
boy that his hair makes him ugly. Slowly the mind sets on negative
outlooks, the "I AM" is starting to be "I DON"T KNOW" who I am, they
may refer to a friend that told them they could not be a Doctor or that
they were not as attractive as their parents told them they were,
therefore the "I Can Do Anything" becomes "Maybe I am Not Smart Enough
To Be" "Maybe I'm Not Pretty or Handsome enough". Our Society shows
the "Wants Me To Be" and it begins to form. You may be energetic in
school and you are labeled ADD or ADHD and now they want to put you on
meds simply because you have more zest for life than others. Labels
are now beginning to be given to children by adults thus forming more
of the "society based" acceptable child.

Once you reach Junior High School and High School the majority of
your "I AM" is gone. Because people told you that the lime green shirt
you wanted to wear looked stupid, or the hair cut you loved so much was
funny looking. You found yourself while shopping picking up an item
and in your mind saying how cute it was, you put it back since you know
the ones around you will make a comment. Your sense of self is now
being formed by what others MAY think, you have been criticized and/or
made fun of for things you the "I AM" likes. You begin to let the
little things that are truly you be shoved or locked away deep down
inside. You now find yourself dressing the way others would have you
dress so you don't hear any negatives or your not made fun of.

Even in marriage I have found we tend to keep ourselves bottled up.
How many women out there would love to cut their hair short? However
you hear them say "my husband/boyfriend doesn't like short hair" or
they prefer you stay brunette when you would love to be blonde. How
many men would love to have a tattoo? You don't since you know others
will condemn you for it or maybe you would love to have a motorcycle.
You hear in your mind that this is not acceptable for someone in your
position - husband or executive. Each time burying yourself deeper and
deeper inside.

Now you are at a point where you are lost, confused not sure what you
are doing. You reflect back on your childhood in the early years and
think "man I laughed allot then" or "you know when I was younger I was
going to be _____". The excuse becomes well my life took a turn but I
could of been. Society and others that probably aren't even
in your life now shaped you. By their words of lack they began to put
negative thoughts in your head, and by their words of criticism or
making fun of you in some way made you put the true you away. We do
this so we will be liked and have friends and even protect ourselves.
A true friend is one who accepts you for you and all you are, even if
that means you like a lime green shirt, orange on you living room wall,
short blonde hair or a motorcycle.

I have found that those who always have a comment or a negative word
no matter what-they are the ones who are truly insecure. It takes
courage to be your true self and it takes courage to take back the "I
AM". If you feel overwhelmed inside, lost, confused maybe it is time
you start working on the person you are. We will never be truly happy
until we can be who we were meant to be. See God created you to be
you, not what society wants, not what your told to be, God has a plan
for you and he made you the way you are. By being honest with yourself
and I mean truly honest put aside what anyone has ever said and go back
to you and what you like and want you will start to feel whole again.
Little by little that person that was full of life, hopes and dreams
for the future will be born again.

There are some very simple steps that you can take to begin the
process of finding you the "I AM". Now I am not talking about the
selfish ego of I AM but the truth of being "YOU". The first thing you
can do is to take a piece of paper in the privacy of your own home and
write down as if everyone in the world was in agreement everything you
love. Include such things as what you want to do, clothing you like,
colors you would love to have in your home, just being able to speak
your mind and say what you are thinking, things you have seen that you
never told anyone you liked since they would make comments about it Ex: Tye
dye and colors of the 60's. Take time and really search within
yourself, look through magazines if you have to or go back to old
family photos, take yourself back to the time you thought you could do
anything. When you would express freely what you liked and didn't
like. I am sure you remember when you were a child and someone tried
to get you to eat Lima Beans or Brussel Sprouts and you adamantly stated
"NO" "YUK" and you did not eat them. Go back to that time, reflect on
the times you were secure and knew what you wanted your life to be
like.

Once you get the list which may take several days or weeks, it really
does not matter as long as you start the process. Look at the list and
start small lets say you would love to have color in your home and it
is a bold color, go buy some small item like a picture, rug or blanket
with that color and slowly add it in. If you would love to be able to
say what is on your mind but have always been put down for your
thoughts, start by small responses, you don't have to be rude and you
can voice your opinion in a subtle nice way but try with simple things.
It may be as simple as a NO I don't want to go this time. Don't feel
as if you always have to give an excuse - YOU DON'T -- see it is your
right to say no. How many of us go to that family gathering that maybe
we really don't enjoy instead of going hiking which we would love to do
simply because we feel we will make someone mad. Perhaps others have
always made you feel guilty for not going so you have always caved in.
One thing most don't understand is the people that "expect", "demand"
and only like you because you do what they want, these are the people
who are themselves insecure. They don't know who they are anymore than
you do, they simply found out a long time ago that they could make
people feel guilty if they did not do what was expected. We see this
all over in our personal lives, we may even wonder why that particular
family member always does everything or why some people don't stand up
for themselves. They have been made to believe they can't and they
have bought into it. You don't have to buy into it anymore, you are a
unique person with unique likes and dislikes and you have the right to
be once again the "I AM" by being you - complete- whole and the way God
made you. God loves you even if you walk to your own drummer and don't
follow the beat of others, God loves you for you.


Go make your list and start working on finding your true self again. I
won't say it will be a piece of cake - It Won't - but if you are at a
place in your life where you know you need a change, the journey back
to you will be a wonderful life changing one. You will begin to love
yourself again and express yourself again. You will discover that once
the journey begins you'll probably be laughing more and feel happier
inside than you have in a very long time. Don't worry how others will
take it - if they are your true friends they will accept you for you
and everything that comes with it. When your family sees how happy you
are they too will enjoy being around you more and if they don't then
suggest they too find themselves again. If you were ever going to take
a chance then the best advise I can give is "TAKE A CHANCE ON YOU!" and
you will be glad you did.

Blessings,
Cindy
http://www.sacredeartharomatics.com